The Story Of The Mysterious Missing Shoes
by Juliette4
Summary: What happened to Minerva's shoes? Why is someone sending her on a wild goose-chase to find them? Why does Albus act suspicious? Shoes aren't supposed to lead you to your true love....are they?


This has got to be one of the goofiest stories I've ever written. I'd love to know what you think of this; I'm sure you'll find it at least a little funny!  
  
Juliette4  
  
P.S.: I like the bit about the fork, don't you?  
  
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When Minerva McGonagall woke up that cool morning in November, she had no shoes. She got up, got dressed, did her hair, and looked for her shoes at the foot of her bed. They weren't there. She looked under the bed. Nope. She looked in the closet. Nada. She looked behind the door. Ah, no. She looked under her dresser. Uh uh. Under her desk. Sadly...no. Minerva sat on her bed to think.  
  
She only had one pair of shoes; and they were gone. They were black leather calf-high boots that she wore day in and day out underneath of her long robes. She had no other pair. She was a woman who believed in no frivolities, and the only other thing she had to put on her feet were her bedroom slippers, which she wouldn't DARE wear in public. If she had had a choice she would have chosen a sensible pair of black or white slippers, but those Albus had bought for her, for her birthday, and unfortunately, they were shaped like giant cats' heads.  
  
'What am I going to do?' She thought frantically. She gave one more quick search around her room, and sighed in resignation. She would have to go in bare feet.  
  
In the Geat Hall, Albus Dumbledore sat at his place at the teacher's table. He was having a conversation with Professor Vector, but as Professor Vector noticed, Albus was a bit distracted. He often stared away into the distance; a strange smile on his face, almost like he was keeping a very funny secret. Soon Professor Vector gave up on him and turned to talk to another teacher.  
  
Minerva was nervous. She was nervous that when her students saw her without shoes; they would not treat her with respect, and she was nervous that when her co-workers saw she her without shoes; they would laugh at her. She walked to the Great Hall and quietly opened one of the Great Hall's doors. She peeked in and then closed the door again. She sighed, and mustering up her courage; opened the doors wide and walked into the Great Hall; her head held high. She proudly put one bare foot in front of the other, and walked on the cold marble floor inbetween the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables up to the teacher's table.  
  
When Albus saw her come in, his face lit up. Minerva was his closest and dearest friend, and although he admited it to no one, he wished she was a little more than that. Albus looked at her; then his gaze was drawn to her feet. His mouth dropped open, and he stared at her.  
  
Several students had turned and seen her walk in...and seen her feet. Word spread, and soon every student knew that Minerva McGonagall, easily the sternest teacher in Hogwarts, had no shoes. The teachers soon noticed, and they all silently watched Minerva walk up to the table with a faint blush coloring her cheeks.  
  
Minerva sat down in her seat beside Albus and looked straight ahead, not saying anything. Soon the normal chatter resumed and eyes were no longer focused on her, although the conversation was.  
  
Albus watched her as she picked up her fork and started eating her eggs.  
  
He smothered a grin. "Minerva..." He started. "Do you realize that you aren't wearing any shoes?"  
  
She glared at him. "Yes Albus, I am quite aware of the fact that I am not wearing any shoes."  
  
"Why not?" Albus managed to say without laughing.  
  
Minerva glared at him again. "When I woke up this morning, I couldn't find my shoes anywhere."  
  
Albus opened his mouth. "And if you say anything Albus Dumbledore you will regret it!" She threatened.  
  
Albus sniggered. Then he chuckled, then he dissolved in a fit of giggles. And before Minerva knew it, Albus Dumbledore was holding his stomach and bending over the table, laughing uproariously. Unfortunately for Minerva, it was contagious. Teachers surrounding Albus and Minerva started sniggering; then the students; looking up at the teachers, started laughing too. Soon, most of the people in the Great Hall were laughing hard. Some of them didn't know what they were laughing at, but it didn't really matter. Minerva stood up.  
  
"Albus Dumbledore, stop laughing!" She shrieked. She picked up her fork and threw it at him. It landed in his beard and got stuck. That only made everyone laugh harder. Albus was laughing so hard, he was paralyzed.  
  
Minerva ran down between the tables and out the door, upset and angry. When the big doors slammed behind her, the Great Hall quieted down. The students all turned and looked at Albus. He'd stopped laughing, and now looked rather ashamed of himself. "Excuse me," he muttered to the teachers and then left the Great Hall, following Minerva.  
  
The students looked at each other, and excited chatter broke out about the day's drama.  
  
Meanwhile, Albus was walking up to Minerva's Transfiguration classroom, where he knew she would be. And he was right. She was sitting at her desk; her head on her hand.  
  
When she heard him come in, she looked up, her eyebrows raised, and when she saw it was him, her gaze darkened slightly. "What do you want?" She asked darkly. "Come to tease me some more?"  
  
"No. I'm really very sorry Minerva, but it was just so funny!" He couldn't help but chuckle again. When he noticed that she wasn't laughing with him, his laugh trailed off. "He he he...Ahem. Besides, Minerva, I wasn't teasing you."  
  
She stood up and walked in front of. She planted her hands on her hips. "Oh no? Then what do you call it? Admit it, you were just plain making fun of me." She folded her arms defensively.  
  
"No, no Minerva!" He gave her a reassuring hug. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it," he said into her hair. He pulled back and held her at arms length. "Do you forgive me?"  
  
She sighed and nodded. "Yes. But only-" she held up a finger. "Only if you promise not to say anything about my not having any shoes on."  
  
"I promise. But aren't your feet cold?" He persisted.  
  
She looked at him sternly. "That's my problem; let me worry about it. Now go, I have to get ready for my first class."  
  
Albus smiled at her, again like he knew a secret. She looked up at him. "What?"  
  
He just smiled. "Nothing. See you at lunch, Minerva."  
  
He was halfway to the door when she called out to him. "Albus?"  
  
He turned around. "Yes?" He asked.  
  
She grinned. "You may want to take the fork out of your beard." She pointed to her chin.  
  
Albus' mouth opened slightly, then his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows went up at the same time. (A/N: Yes you can do that.) "Yes. Good day Minerva."  
  
Then he went out the door. But a moment later he was in front of her again. "Minerva?"  
  
She sighed and looked up at him. "Yes, Albus?"  
  
He kissed her on the cheek. "You have beautiful feet." He winked at her and left.  
  
"Albus!" She exclaimed. After he had disappeared, she sat back in her chair. A somewhat shy smile crossed her face; and she reached up and felt her cheek softly.  
  
All through the day, Minerva endured comments such as: "Trying to tiptoe through the tulips Professor?" And, "Nice toenail polish Professor McGonagall!" Or, "Getting a nice breeze in your toes?" As one American exchange student put it: "Are you turning into a hick chick Professor?"  
  
After that, Minerva took 5 points away and threatened to do the same to anyone who dared make another remark. After that no one said anything to her, but she could still hear the whispers and laughter; still feel the eyes watching her.  
  
By the time Lunch came around. Minerva's toes were cold and numb, and her heels hurt from walking around on the hard stone floors. She walked into the Great Hall and sat down in her chair with a sigh. She crossed her leg over her lap and rubbed her tired and cold foot.  
  
Albus looked over at her. "Had a good day, Minerva?" He asked cheerfully, his eyes twinkling.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Not especially."  
  
"I am so sorry to hear that," Albus said. "Perhaps I can make it better for you." He held out his hand. In it was a lemon drop.  
  
Minerva stared at it. Albus was always offering her lemon drops, but she'd never taken one, due to a bad experience with lemons when she was younger, (Another story, another time) which had left her with a deep resentment and hatred of lemons ever since. But maybe now she ought to try one. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She took the lemon drop, and somewhat hesitantly, put it in her mouth. Albus watched her silently as she sucked on it, his eyes filled with laughter. After a moment she looked at him.  
  
"You know, it's not as a bad as I thought it would be."  
  
Albus stared at her. "Has not having any shoes damaged your brain?" He asked.  
  
She glared at him. "Albus, you promised you wouldn't talk about my feet or my shoes anymore."  
  
Albus smiled. "I'm only teasing my dear." He reached over and lightly pinched her big toe. "I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of all this-there's nothing wrong with walking around in bare feet."  
  
"Albus, I don't know how long I can go without shoes."  
  
"Then go out and get new ones."  
  
"I can't go out and get new shoes without any shoes in the first place!" She exclaimed.  
  
He smiled laughingly. "That's true I suppose. You'd better eat, Lunch is almost over."  
  
Later that evening, Minerva looked over her room another time for her shoes. they were nowhere to be found. 'There is something strange about this,' she reasoned, 'one just doesn't lose one's shoes. Yet, why would someone steal my shoes? It just doesn't make any sense. I'll go down and ask the house-elves if they did anything with my shoes.'  
  
Meanwhile, Albus Dumbledore was sitting in his office; contemplating. 'This is a ridiculous situation,' he thought. 'It's wrong for me to keep them...yet it's quite amusing at the same time.' Yes, Albus had taken Minerva's shoes. Not because he had a weird shoe fetish or anything just...strange like that. No, he'd stolen her shoes because he'd wanted a piece of her. He'd been visiting her rooms, and while she was getting them tea, he'd grabbed her shoes; shrunk them, and stuffed them in his pocket. But now he felt really bad. He hadn't known that she didn't have another pair of shoes! He thought all women kept mulitiple pairs of shoes. (There's a man for you.) Suddenly Albus had a wonderful idea. And with no further ado, he pulled out a quill and a bottle of ink he rarely used-plain black. He grabbed a sheet of parchment and began to write.  
  
Minerva went down to the kitchen where the house-elves were cleaning up. As soon as she stepped into the kitchen elves assaulted her and offered her all sorts of food and drink, but she asked them to listen to her for a moment, and she asked them if they had seen her shoes.  
  
"No, Mistress," one house-elf squeaked. "Not since last night. We left them right where you keep them-at the foot of your bed." The house-elf began to look worried. "Did we do anything wrong? We're so very sor-"  
  
"No, no, no," Minerva interrupted. "I was just wondering. Thank you anyways. Keep up the good work. Oh, and send Albus Dumbledore a cup of tea and a bag of lemon drops for me will you; tell him I said 'good night.'"  
  
The house-elf; Droopy, bowed. "Yes, Mistress. Right away Mistress."  
  
Minerva left the kitchens and went back to her bedrooms, thoroughly confused. She had been almost positive that the house-elves would have some information as to what happened to her shoes. When she entered her bedroom she hung her robe on the hook on the back of the door, and when she turned around she noticed it. A piece of plain, folded, white parchment was lying on her bed. She frowned curiously and picked it up. She opened it, and read the writing printed in a neat hand on the inside. It read:  
  
'If you wish to get your shoes back, follow the clues. Each clue will lead to the next clue and so on and so forth until they lead you to your shoes. Your first clue is as follows:  
  
Go to the place where students go,  
  
To hug and kiss each other so.  
  
It is a place where Mrs. Clanahan sleeps,  
  
And where feathers A.F keeps.  
  
Hint: it's on the first floor and is small. Have fun!'  
  
Minerva stared at the note in disbelief. This was perfectly absurd! She was going on a treasure hunt for her own shoes! Someone had actually stolen her shoes and were now making a fool out of her by making her go on a wild goose chase! However, she had no choice. She studied the note again. The handwriting wasn't familiar, nor the paper, nor ink. She held it to her nose and sniffed it. It smelled like paper. Proving that the person had either just bought it, or kept it in a drawer and didn't use it very often. She sighed and looked at the riddle again.  
  
"Mrs. Clanahan?" She said aloud. "Who on earth is Mrs. Clanahan? The name sounds vaguely familier though. A.F...Obviously someone's initials, but whose?" She read the first part. "Where students go to hug and kiss. That would be..." She snapped her fingers. "The snogging closet!" She raced out of her rooms and towards the first floor.  
  
The snogging room...that's what the teachers called it. It was...well, to put it frankly, where the students went to kiss. They thought the teachers didn't know about it, but they all did. But that didn't explain Mrs. Clanahan and A.F.  
  
Minerva reached the snogging closet and threw open the door. Luckily there was no students in it. She looked all over it, then she spotted something that made her laugh. There on a shelf was a bottle of Mrs. Clanahan's Crystal Clear Cleaner.  
  
"That's why I recognized the name!"  
  
She looked around some more. Then she saw hanging on the wall, two feather dusters labled on the handle: 'Argus Filch.'  
  
"A.F.!" Minerva laughed. "But where's the next clue?"  
  
She looked at her feet. There on the floor right in front of her was a piece of plain white parchment. She smiled and picked it up. She opened it and read what was written inside:  
  
'Congratulations! You found the second clue! Now, here's the instructions to find the third clue. Note: there will be about six clues in all- including the one you found in your bedroom, and this one.  
  
Good food.  
  
Really big.  
  
Every day.  
  
A bunch of room.  
  
Tables.  
  
Houses.  
  
Always fun.  
  
Love abounds.  
  
Lit candles.  
  
Have fun!'  
  
Minerva smiled. 'Whoever wrote this,' she thought, 'either thought I couldn't figure this out, or they deliberately tried to make it easy for me.'  
  
She shrugged and made her way to the Great Hall. Once there, she looked around. "Now where could it be?" She said aloud, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
"Pardon me?" A voice said behind her.  
  
She turned around. "Oh, Severus! Tell me, have you seen a white piece of paper lying around?"  
  
Severus Snape looked at her strangely. "No....excuse me professor." He turned around and left. He looked once over his shoulder; almost as if he was afraid of what she might do to him.  
  
Minerva shook her head and walked up to her seat. She looked all around the table and chair, but didn't see it. She turned around and then she saw the clue, sitting on the seat of Abus' chair. Minerva smiled and picked it up. She was actually starting to have fun!  
  
The clue read:  
  
'You found me! Wow, you're pretty good!'  
  
Here Minerva rolled her eyes.  
  
'Here's your third clue-only three more to go!  
  
Go to the place where people feel ill, then better again,  
  
A place for both women and for men.  
  
Where potions, and spells both are used,  
  
And where wicked tempers are fused.  
  
Have fun!'  
  
"Where people are ill, then better again..." Minerva thought for a moment. "Must be the Hospital Wing. But that doesn't exactly explain the tempers being fused." She shrugged. "May as well try it anyways."  
  
She walked slowly to the Hospital Wing, thinking to herself.  
  
'Who could this person be? The person's mannerisms are quirky, and yet, strangely friendly. It feels almost as if I've known this person for a very long time.' She laughed to herself. 'In reality, it's either someone I have never met, or someone I would never expect. Maybe a mixture of both.'  
  
She arrived at the Hospital Wing, and quietly letting herself in, shut the door behind her. She was doubtful that this was the place of the fourth clue. It fit the first descripton, but she didn't see where the bit about tempers fit in. She looked around, and noticed several of her Transfiguration students lying in beds. There had been an accident yesterday, where one student had turned her friend into a frog; and then had gotten hit with another spell which in turn caused a huge fight. Spells had been flinging back and forth, and Minerva herself had to narrowly dodge getting hit before resuming order and sending students here, to the Hospital wing.  
  
She walked around the room looking at more obvious places to find the clue. Suddenly the door to Madame Pomfrey's private rooms flung open, and she stood there with a frown on her face. "All right-" She started. "Oh Minerva! It's you! I thought it was another student playing around. I get so frustrated when they don't listen to me and come up here to play!"  
  
Suddenly Minerva knew what the clue meant when it said fused tempers.  
  
Poppy Pomfrey looked at Minerva. "Was there something you wanted?"  
  
Minerva smiled. "Have you seen a piece of white paper lying around, Poppy?"  
  
Poppy frowned and thought a moment. "Not that I know of. Miss Barnes, back to bed!"  
  
Poppy headed towards one of the beds, forgetting about the whole conversation. Minerva shook her head and sighed. She looked around the room and then saw the clue. It was lying on the window sill. The only problem was that the window sill was about 10 feet above the floor; and Minerva was only 5 foot 8. Minerva planted her hands on her hips and stared at the the window sill. 'How on earth am I supposed to reach it?'  
  
She walked over to the window sill, and stretching her arm as far as she could reach; jumped up and tried to grab the window sill. She couldn't reach it. 'Of course I can't reach it!' She thought irritably. 'The bloody window sill is twice my height!' She thought a moment. She couldn't see the clue from where she was standing, and if she stood far away enough to see it, she was to far away to cast Wingardium Leviosa. Minerva smiled. 'Accio!' She thought. She reached into her pocket to pull out her wand. Then she groaned. "I left my wand in my bedroom!' She thought. Then she smiled. She shoved a nearby nighttable underneath the window sill and stood on it. She reached her arm as far as she could, but even with the booster of the nighttable, her fingers came short. She tried jumping a little, but was afraid to try jumping too high, in case she fell. She leaned against the wall and sighed.  
  
"Minerva McGonagall! What on earth are you doing up there?"  
  
Minerva looked down at Poppy. "Oh hello Poppy. I'm trying to get the piece of paper on the window sill."  
  
Poppy stared at her; her mouth open. "I think I need some rest," she muttered. "I'm really not seeing Minerva McGonagall on an endtable trying to reach the window sill. Nope, I think I ate too much dinner." She walked into her rooms muttering to herself and holding her stomach.  
  
Minerva shook her head and smiled. 'What am I going to do?' She thought. She looked up at the window sill. 'Hmm...' Suddenly she hopped off of the nighttable and went over to some cabinets on the other side of the room. She opened them and pulled out some wooden boxes. Poppy used them to store medicines. Minerva took two and stacked them on top of the nighttable. She stood on top of them, and could reach the window sill with ease. She reached along the sill, found the paper with her fingers, and grabbed it. She waved it around and gave a shout of glee before remembering that she was in a dangerous spot and that people were sleeping in the same room she was. She hopped down, and put the boxes away before opening her clue. She read it, and this is what she read:  
  
'Congratulations again! Here is the fourth clue:  
  
Teacher.  
  
Really good teacher.  
  
Absolutely beautiful teacher.  
  
New things to learn.  
  
Super!  
  
Fun.  
  
It's helpful.  
  
Good teacher.  
  
Unbelievable teacher.  
  
Really smart teacher.  
  
Absolutely everyone loves this teacher.  
  
Time passes quickly.  
  
I think this is a good class.  
  
Oh boy, it's time for class!  
  
Never want to leave.  
  
Can I stay?  
  
Love that teacher.  
  
And I mean it.  
  
Something to talk about.  
  
Superbly fantastic.  
  
Room.  
  
Have Fun!'  
  
Minerva blinked and read it again. "Well it's obvious that it's my Transfiguration classroom. But who on earth could have so many compliments for me? Good teacher, beautiful teacher, unbelievable teacher, smart teacher, everone loves the teacher, love the teacher..." She trailed off and read it again. "Well," she said to herself finally, "I don't guess I'll ever figure any of this out unless I go to my classroom."  
  
A few minutes later, after arriving in her classroom, with her feet freezing cold from wandering around the castle for so long at night; she stopped and looked about the room. There in plain view on her desk was the now-familiar white piece of folded paper.  
  
Minerva picked it up, and read it. Written on it were four simple words:  
  
'Your Best Friends Office.'  
  
There wasn't even the usual 'Have fun!' at the end. Minerva knew the answer right away. Albus Dumbledore was her best friend. Minerva ran out of her classroom and as fast as she could down to Albus' office. When she got to the stone gargoyle, she said the password, and stepped onto the revolving staircase. When she reached the top; and the heavy wooden door that lead to Albus' office, she knocked three times and waited anxiously. She soon heard a quiet, 'Come in.'  
  
Minerva opened the door and burst into Albus' office. Albus himself was sitting behind his desk with his hands folded; as if he had been expecting her.  
  
Minerva smiled at him. "Albus, I know this may seem strange; but have you seen a piece of white parchment lying around here?"  
  
Albus held up a piece of paper. "This?" He asked, his eyes twinkling.  
  
"Yes!" Minerva exclaimed. "May I have it please?"  
  
Albus handed it to her. "Certainly."  
  
Minerva took the paper and eagerly opened it. This was the last clue! When she saw the writing, she frowned. It wasn't in the usual neat handwriting, but in Albus' spidery script. This is what she read:  
  
'My Dear Minerva,  
  
The first thing I want to say is that I'm sorry. You're probably wondering what all of this is about; and I'm going to tell you. I took your shoes. Not exactly stole, because I wasn't planning to keep them. Why? Because I wanted to have a piece of you close to me always. And it was....well, you'll hate me for this-but it was a funny idea.  
The second thing I want to say....Well I don't quite know how to express myself, but here's my best:  
  
I love you.  
  
Those three words don't seem to express all of how I feel. I want to grab you and spin you around, I want to kiss you, and listen to your laugh, I want to be with you forever...but none of those seem to say what I want them to say. I can't write poetry, and I can't sing a song, but I can just say how I feel as best I can. So now you know. You know what the whole 'treasure hunt' was about, and you know what happened to your shoes. Don't worry, I will give them back. Soon.  
  
Lovingly,  
  
Albus Dumbledore'  
  
By the time Minerva had finished the letter, she was crying. She looked up at Albus. "Oh Albus," she choked out.  
  
He stood up, and walking to her; wrapped his arms around her. She burst into loud tears; and hugging him tightly, cryed into his chest.  
  
After a moment she pulled away from him and hit him on the chest. "Albus Dumbledore! Shame on you!" She exclaimed.  
  
He looked surprised, but didn't say anything.  
  
Minefva laughed, and sniffed. "Oh, Albus. Stealing my shoes?" She laughed again and hugged him tighter. "I love you too Albus," she murmured.  
  
Albus smiled and squeezed her tight.  
  
He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "You're not angry at me then?"  
  
Minerva looked in his eyes and smiled. "No. I'm not."  
  
Albus grinned; his eyes sparkling. "Good. Because that means I can do this." And with that he kissed her firmly on the lips.  
  
And so concludes The Incredible Story Of The Mysterious Missing Shoes.  
  
I can now say:  
  
The End. 


End file.
